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According to Quran and Sunnah

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The Value of Being Pious


Hadith - Muslim, #3465

'Abdullah b. 'Amr reported Allah's Messenger as saying:  The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

When Permission is Needed

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 7.123, Narrated Abu Huraira  

Allah's Apostle said, "It is not lawful for a lady to fast (Nawafil) without the permission of her husband when he is at home; and she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and if she spends of his wealth (on charitable purposes) without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward."

Protecting Muslims


Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3978, Narrated AbuHurayrah  

The Prophet said, "A woman acts for the people," i.e. she gives protection on behalf of the Muslims.

[Tirmidhi transmitted it].

Advice for Men


"They ask your legal instruction concerning women, say:  Allah instructs you about them..." [Qur'an 4:127]

The Prophet said:

"The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife"

Hadith - Muslim, #3466

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger as saying: Woman is like a rib.  When you attempt to straighten it, you would break it.  And if you leave her alone you would benefit by her, and crookedness will remain in her.  A hadith like this is reported by another chain of narrators.


Hadith - Muslim, #3468

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle as saying: He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet.  Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top.  If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there.  So act kindly towards women.

Hadith - Muslim, #3469

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger as saying: A believing man should not hate a believing woman; it he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 7.117 Narrated 'Aisha, r.a.

The eleventh one said, "My husband is Abu Zar and what is Abu Zar (i.e., what should I say about him)? He has given me many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat (i.e., I have become fat). And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of myself. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in poverty, and brought me to a respected family having horses and camels and threshing and purifying grain. Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill."

....'Aisha then said: Allah's Apostle SAAWS said to me, "I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife Um Zar."


Accusations Against a Chaste Woman

The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur 24:23-24

Verily, those who accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching their chastity and are good believers, are cursed in this life and in the Hereafter, and for them will be a great torment, --

On the Day when their tongues, their hands, and their legs or feet will bear witness against them as to what they used to do.

Hadith - Bukhari 8:840, Narrated Abu Huraira  

The Prophet said: "Avoid the seven great destructive sins."  They (the people) asked, "O Allah's Messenger!  What are they?"  He said,

  1. "To join partners in worship with Allah,

  2. to practise sorcery;

  3. to kill the life which Allah has forbidden except for a just cause (according to Islamic law);

  4. to eat up Riba' (usury);

  5. to eat up the property of an orphan;

  6. to show one's back to the enemy and fleeing from the battle-field at the time of fighting and

  7. to accuse chaste women who never even think of anything touching their chastity and are good believers."

Hadith - Bukhari 8:840, Narrated Abu Huraira  

Hilal bin Umaiya accused his wife before the Prophet of committing illegal sexual intercourse with Sharik bin Sahma. The Prophet said, "Produce a proof*, or else you would get the legal punishment (by being lashed) on your back." Hilal said, "O Allah's Apostle! If anyone of us saw another man over his wife, would he go to search for a proof." The Prophet went on saying, "Produce a proof or else you would get the legal punishment (by being lashed) on your back." The Prophet then mentioned the narration of Lian (as in the Holy Book). (Surat-al-Nur: 24)

         *the proof required is four witnesses (see next Ayat)

The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur 24:4-9

And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, they indeed are the Fasiqun (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah).

Except those who repent thereafter and do righteous deeds, (for such) verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

As for those who accuse their wives, but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies (i.e. testifies four times) by Allah that he is one of those who speak the truth.

And the fifth (testimony) (should be) the invoking of the Curse of Allah on him if he be of those who tell a lie (against her).

But it shall avert the punishment (of stoning to death) from her, if she bears witness four times by Allah, that he (her husband) is telling a lie.

And the fifth (testimony) should be that the Wrath ofAllah be upon her if he (her husband) speaks the truth.

Marriage

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #605, Narrated Ali ibn Abu Talib Transmitted by Tirmidhi.

Allah's Apostle said: Ali, there are three matters which should not be deferred: the Prayer when its time is due, the funeral as soon it is ready, and the case of a woman without a husband, when there is a suitable (spouse) for her in her class.

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #605, Narrated Aisha  

The Prophet said, "The marriage which produces most blessing is that which involves least burden."

Bayhaqi transmitted it in Shu'ab al-Iman.

Wives

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3095, Narrated AbuUmamah , Transmitted by Ibn Majah

The Prophet used to say, "After fear of Allah a believer gains nothing better for himself than a good wife who obeys him if he gives her a command, pleases him if he looks at her, is true to him if he adjures her to do something, and is sincere towards him regarding her person and his property if he is absent."


Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3254, Narrated Anas ibn Malik  

Allah's Messenger said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

[AbuNu'aym transmitted it in al-Hilyah.]


Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3257, narrated Talq ibn Ali  

Allah's Messenger said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven."

[Tirmidhi transmitted it.]


Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3272, narrated Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves." [Nasa'i and Bayhaqi, in Shu'ab al-Iman transmitted it.]


Jamharah Khutah al-‘Arab, 1/145

‘Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

‘Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”

Mothers

The Prophet said,
"Paradise lies at the feet of your mothers."

The hadith with this wording is da'if, but its meaning is contained in the hadith of Ibn Majah and al-Nasa'i that a man came to the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, "O Messenger of Allah! I intend to go on a (military) expedition, but I have come to ask your advice." He said, "Is your mother alive?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Then stay with her, for the Garden is under her feet." This latter hadith is declared to be sahih by al-Hakim, al-Dhahabi and al-Mundhiri.  --Kashf al-Khafa', no. 1078; Al-Da'ifah, no. 593.



Hadith - Bukhari 8.2, Narrated Abu Huraira  

A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?"  The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."

Hadith - Bukhari 1:675, Narrated 'Abdulla bin 'Abi Qatada

"My father said, "The Prophet said, 'When I stand for prayer, I intend to prolong it but on hearing the cries of a child, I cut it short, as I dislike to trouble the child's mother.' "

Hadith - Bukhari 1:3:591, Narrated Al-Mughira bin Shu'ba

The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden for you, (1) to be undutiful to your mothers*, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).

*please note that if your mother is kuffaar, you are not commanded to allow yourself to be oppressed if that should occur.

Praying in the Masjid (Mosque)


Hadith - Bukhari 1:832, Narrated Salim bin 'Abdullah ,also in 7:165

My father said, "The Prophet said, 'If the wife of any one of you asks permission (to go to the mosque) do not forbid her."


         Note: Women are not required to attend the Masjid... in fact, it is an extra blessing to do Salat at home.  However, a woman should not be denied attending the Masjid upon asking for permission, even for the night prayers.  

Hadith - Muslim, Ahmad and Nisaa'ee, Narrated Zaynab Ath Thaqafiyyah

"If one of you attends Ishaa*, then do not touch perfume."

[Shaykh Al Albaanee makes the takhreej for it in Silsilah Al Ahaadeeth As Saheehah no. 1093.  He declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' Vol. 1 no. 634]

* The evening salah (obligatory prayer)

Jihad


Hadith - Bukhari 2:595, Ibn 'Aisha

I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Shouldn't we participate in Holy battles and Jihad along with you?" He replied, "The best and the most superior Jihad (for women) is Hajj which is accepted by Allah." 'Aisha added: Ever since I heard that from Allah's Apostle I have determined not to miss Hajj.

Femininity


Hadith - Bukhari 7:773, Narrated Ibn 'Abbas

Allah's Apostle cursed those men who are in the similitude (assume the manners) of women and those women who are in the similitude (assume the manners) of men.

Hadith - Bukhari 7:815, Narrated 'Abdullah

Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those who remove their face hairs, and those who create a space between their teeth artificially to look beautiful, and such women as change the features created by Allah. Why then should I not curse those whom the Prophet has cursed? And that is in Allah's Book, i.e. His Saying: "And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad ) gives you, take it, and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it), and fear Allah." (59.7)


The Muslim Woman: Her Status in Islam

by the noble Sheikh Abdul-Azeez bin Baaz (rahimahullah)

The status of the Muslim woman in Islam is very noble and lofty one, and her effect is very great in the life of every Muslim. Indeed, the Muslim woman is the initial teacher in the building of a righteous society, providing she follows the guidance from the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet .

Since adherence to the Quran and the Sunnah distances every Muslim - male or female - from being misguided in any matter. The misguidance that the various nations suffer from, and their being deviant, does not come about except by being far away from the path of Allah - the Most High, the Most Perfect - and from what His Prophets and Messengers, may Allah's peace be upon them all, came with. The Prophet said: "I am leaving behind me two matters, you will not go astray as long as you cling to them both, the Book of Allah and my Sunnah." [1]

The great importance of Muslim woman's role - whether as wife, sister or daughter, and the rights that are due to her and the obligations due from her - have been explained in the purified Sunnah.

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed on her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder - responsibilities and difficulties some, which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligation upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father. Allah - the most High - says:

"And We have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness and hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years. Show gratitude and thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination." [Soorah Luqmaan 31:14]

Allah - the Most High - said: "And We have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship, and she brings him forth with hardship. And the bearing and the weaning of him is thirty months." [Soorah al-Ahqaaf 41:15]

A man came to Allah's Messenger and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother". The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: then who? So he replied: "Then your father." So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the likes of kindness and good treatment then the father. [2]

As regards to the wife, then her status and her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene, has been clearly shown in the noble ayah (verse), in His - the Most High's saying:

"And from amongst His Signs is this: That He created from you wives from amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them. And He has put between you love and compassion. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect." [Soorah Ar-Rum 30:21]

Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer (d.774H) - rahimahullaah - said, whilst explaining the term mawaddah means love and affection, and ar-rahmah means compassion and piety - "since a man takes the hand of a women either due to love for her, or because of compassion and piety for her, by giving to her a child from himself…" [3]

And the unique stance that the prophet 's wife Khadeejah took, had a huge effect in calming and reassuring Allah's Messenger , when the angel Jibreel - alayhis-salam - first came to him in the cave of Hiraa. So the Prophet returned to his wife Khadeejah with the first Revelation and with this his heart trembling and beating severely, and so he said to her: "Cover me! Cover me!" So they covered him until his fear was over, after which he told Khadeejah - everything that had happened, and said: 'I fear that something may happen to me." So she said to him: "Never! By Allah! Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good ties with relations, you help the poor and the destitute, you serve your guests generously and assist those who have been afflicted with calamities." [4]

And do not forget about Aaishah and her great effect. Since even the great Sahaabah (Companions) use to take knowledge of Hadiths from her, and many of the Sahaabiyaat (female companions) learn the various rulings pertaining to women's issues from her…

And I have no doubt that my mother - may Allah shower His mercy upon her - had a tremendous effect upon me, and has a great excellence over me, in encouraging me to study; and she assists me in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me.

And there is no doubt also, the house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, along with the correct Islamic tarbiyah (Education and cultivation) will greatly affect the man. So he will become - if Allah wills - successful in his affairs and in any matter - whether it be seeking knowledge, trading, earning a living, or other than this. So it is Allah Alone that I ask to grant success and to guide us all to that which he loves and is pleased with. And may the prayers of peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad , and upon his Family, his companions and his followers.


FOOTNOTES:

  1. Hasan: Related by Maalik in al-Muwattaa (2/899) and al-Haakim (1/93), from Ibn 'Abbass radiaalahu'anhu. It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in as-Saheehah (no.1871).

  2. Related by al-Bukhari (no.59710 and Muslim (7/2), from Abu Hurayrah radialliaahu'anhu

  3. Tafseer Qur'aanul-Adheem (3/4439) of Ibn Katheer.

  4. Related by al-Bukhari (1/22) and Muslim (1/139), from the lengthy narration of Aaishah radiallahu'anhaa

Right to be escorted by a Dhu-Mahram


Hadith - Bukhari 3:85, Ibn 'Abbas

The Prophet said, "A woman should not travel* except with a Dhu-Mahram (her husband or a man with whom that woman cannot marry at all according to the Islamic jurisprudence), and no man may visit her except in the presence of a Dhu-Mahram**." A man got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I intend to go to such and such an army and my wife wants to perform Hajj." The Prophet said (to him), "Go along with her (to Hajj)."


*this is referring to lengthy travel; for instance, a trip that exceeds two days time, etc.

** dhu-mahrahm: A male whom a woman can never marry because of close relationship (i.e. brother, father, uncle, etc.) or her own husband.


Hadith - Sahih Muslim, Narrated Abu Hurayrah, R.A.

"Do not permit your women to travel, except that she has with her a mahram(Dhu mahram)."

Shaykh Al Albaanee declares it authentic in Saheeh Al Jaami' vol. 2, no. 7646.


Hadith - Muwatta 20.263

Malik said, concerning a woman who had never been on hajj, "If she doesn't have a mahram, or if she has, but he cannot come with her, she does not abandon Allah's making of the hajj obligatory for her. Let her go in a group of women."

Salah

             Woman should clap if needing to get the Imam's attention due to error in Salah.  For instance, if the imam forgets to do something such as recite Al-Fatihah, the woman may clap and insha'Allah, the imam will recall what he forgot.  The woman should only do this if she is absolutely sure that an error has been made.  


Hadith - Bukhari 1:652, Narrated Sahl bin Sa'd As'Sa'idi

Allah's Apostle said, "If something happens to anyone during his prayer he should say Subhan Allah. If he says so he will be attended to, for clapping is for women."

Hadith - Bukhari 1:329, Narrated Maimuna (the wife of the Prophet)

"During my menses, I never prayed, but used to sit on the mat beside the mosque of Allah's Apostle . He used to offer the prayer on his sheet and in prostration some of his clothes used to touch me."


Marital Relations


Hadith - Bukhari 4:460, narrated Abu Huraira

Allah's Apostle said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning."


Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3257, narrated Talq ibn Ali

Allah's Messenger said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven."

[Tirmidhi transmitted it.]

Being Grateful

Hadith - Bukhari 1:28, Narrated Ibn 'Abbas

The Prophet said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."

Visitors


Hadith - Bukhari 7:123, Narrated AbuHuraira

"...she should not allow anyone to enter his house except with his permission..."

Wet Dreams


Hadith - Bukhari 1:280, Narrated Um-Salama (the mother of the believers)

Um Sulaim, the wife of Abu Talha, came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Verily Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth. Is it necessary for a woman to take a bath after she has a wet dream (nocturnal sexual discharge)?" Allah's Apostle replied, "Yes, if she notices a discharge."

Action Items for the Muttaqun:

  • Fear Allah and abstain from evil, desiring to be pious above all other qualities to possess

  • Do not engage in lengthy travel without the escort of a Dhu-Mahrahm

  • Do not visit with a man, except with the presence of a Dhu-Mahrahm

  • Do not deny sexual relations to your husband as a means to punish him out of anger or otherwise.

  • Obey your husband and do things that please him.

  • Observe Hijab and guard your modesty.  Remain chaste.

  • Take a bath (ghusl) after a wet dream when a discharge is noticed. Also perform ghusl after sexual relations.

  • Don't be overly critical of your husband, but instead be grateful. And surely the best of ways to show love to your husband is to show your love for Allah, subhana watala, by obeying Allah's commands.

Remember... Allah, subhana watala, sees everything we do!


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